Public Speaking. The Horror, right? But you have a wonderful bestie who’s about to get hitched, and you’ve taken on the special role of Maid (or Matron, or Man) of Honour. How do you create a speech that rocks, even if you’re nervous to talk in front of others? Here’s some top tips from the Bride Tribe team to help!
How To Write The Best Maid Of Honour Speech Ever
Let’s get to the nitty gritty- what on earth are you meant to say? The biggest tip to keep in mind is to start talking about the bride- they’re your friend you’re there to support. But end with the couple, just like the wedding did!
Another thing to keep in mind is that you may be giving the speech, but it’s really not about you- and that’s the best news around. If you’re a little shaky or nervous, no one is looking down on you for it. They’re with you in the moment, celebrating their special people. So take a deep breath and relax- you have got this!
Kick your speech off with some insight into the friend you know so well. No need to ramble on about her childhood antics, though. Quickly shift this to the couple and the positives they bring to each other. Maybe your friend has been glowing since she met her right person. Maybe they’re more positive, sassier… whatever works. This is a great way to handle situations where you don’t know the new spouse well yourself, without neglecting them. How is your friend a better person for meeting their other half? How do they complement each other?
Anecdotes are sweet, personal, and break the ice. Humans love storytelling. But make them relevant to the mat of what you’re saying, and tie them into the speech. If you want extra credit, tie everything together beautifully at the end as a more thematic presentation for extra emotional impact.
And keep it positive, especially the ending. It’s not the time to rip out an anecdote that will embarrass your friend or their new spouse. Make sure it ends up not about you, or you and your bestie, but how happy the couple is and how you wish even better for their marriage from here. End on a positive note with a little sentiment. Don’t forget to put some effort into that closing line! You want to end with a bang, not a whimper.
The Maid Of Honour Speech Outline Everyone Can Use
Still stuck? Try this nifty basic outline, and add your own flavour:
- Introduce yourself, briefly, and how long you’ve known the bride
- Thank everyone who helped pull the wedding together, but quickly- imagine it’s the Oscars and there is a timer running
- Talk a little about the bride, and why you love her
- Segue into the love story, and give a nod to the groom and what he brings her
- Wish them well for the future, possibly with a quote or poem, but keep it snappy
- Toast them, take a sip, and you’re done!
And there you have it! Short and sweet is far better than long and rambling, and better for your nerves, too! Keep it around 2-5 minutes long, and remember nerves will get to you, especially after a long day. Make it easy on yourself. Revise, tweak, and practice until you’re comfortable.
Maid Of Honour Speech Tips for the Best Friend
You should find our outline very easy to implement as a bestie, so we won’t add too much more here. You’ve known your friend for a long time, may have been part of their courtship, and have seen them through thick and thin. Let that bond shine in your speech.
Maid Of Honour Speech Tips for a Sister or Sibling
You’re not just a friend, you’re the bride’s sibling. That’s a special bond- but don’t be mean with it. It’s her big day, and it’s not the time to start lacing in the ‘funny’ stories about silly things she did as a kid. Your biggest snag will be getting too personal. Remember to keep it about the bride and the couple, in a positive way, and don’t air out family dirty laundry. Lean into how she’s uplifted or inspired you, and how happy you are for her happiness instead.
Here’s a great example:
@colingoodmanfilms Reply to @jennashaff there’s not a “how-to guide” for our sisterhood 😭 Part 2 #weddingspeech #maidofhonorspeech #weddingtiktok #bridesmaid #weddingday ♬ Stories 2 - Danilo Stankovic
Quirky or Funny Wedding Speeches Tips For the Maid Of Honour
Funny is always a winner, but if you’re not a natural comedian, don’t feel pressured to be one. Simple and touching are just as good. If you do opt for humour, invite the whole room to laugh with you all, not at her, him, you, or any specific target in the room. Remember that golden comedy never punches down- you don’t want to leave someone hurt or offended if you miss the mark. Balance any humour with sincerity.
Gentle, well-meaning humour is the way to go if you want to be funny. Anecdotes, fun group stories, or funny situations you’ve experienced that relate to the theme of your speech are all great.
Here’s a funny, attention grabber:
@yellowfilmsweddings A great attention grabber if you ask me😂 #weddingvideo #maidofhonor #weddingspeech #weddingtoast #weddingtiktok #fyp ♬ original sound - YELLOW FILMS
Or try a quirky anecdote from your own experience, like this professional kiddie wrangler:
@katie.jo.films Kids say the darndest things 😂 #wedding #weddingtiktok #weddingvideographer ♬ Monkeys Spinning Monkeys - Kevin MacLeod & Kevin The Monkey
If you’re a quirky person by nature, let your personality shine through- as long as it doesn’t overwhelm the couple who should be the centre of attention. If you’d be more comfortable doing something other than a wholly traditional speech, run it past the couple and then let that Freak Flag fly. You can still use our general tips to create something memorable, kind, sweet, and perfectly you.
Try this rap on for size!
@withthisringfilms 🥶🥶🍼#weddingtiktok #wedding #foryou #foryoupage #weddingday #weddingvibes #weddingspeech #weddingtoast #weddings #funny ♬ original sound - withthisringfilms
Or this #bridesquad song :
@emerald_media When your bridesmaids hit it out of the park! #bridesquad #maidofhonorspeech #weddingvideo #bridesmaidgoals #weddingspeech #fyp #foryoupage ♬ original sound - emeraldmediaservices
Wedding Speech Tips For Bridesmaids
If you’re not the Maid of Honour, you likely won’t make a speech. But looking bored and disengaged through her speech is just plain rude, and disrespects the couple too. See this as your last act (or so) as a bridesmaid, and be supportive and engaged when she speaks- let her know you’re on her side!
Short Examples Of Maid Of Honour Toasts
A toast isn’t just a toast, not at a wedding! A generic ‘Cheers’ or ‘Drink Up’ just seems flat and dull when you’re celebrating a special couple. Here’s just a few memorable toasts with a great balance of personality, sentiment, and closure to inspire you- there’s plenty more on the net to take inspiration from, too!
"A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short." — André Maurois
"The best thing to hold onto in life is each other." — Audrey Hepburn
"You don't marry the person you can live with—you marry the person you can't live without." — Unknown
"May this marriage be full of laughter, our every day in paradise." — Rumi
"Getting married is like trading the adoration of many for the sarcasm of one." — Mae West
"Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning." — Clint Eastwood
"In all the world, there is no heart for me like yours. In all the world, there is no love for you like mine." — Maya Angelou
"Being married is like having somebody permanently in your corner. It feels limitless, not limited." — Gloria Steinem
"When you realise you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible." —When Harry Met Sally
"It doesn’t matter if the guy is perfect or the girl is perfect, as long as they are perfect for each other." — Good Will Hunting
Lovely, right? Now find the right quote or toast for your happy couple!
8 Maid Of Honour Speech Tips
Hopefully, you now have a far better idea of how to write a maid of honour speech that rocks. Let’s round off with some no-no's, however.
Here’s some Maid of Honour Speech Donts:
- Generic Praise: You have met the bride (and hopefully the groom), right? Show don’t tell helps here. Spare us the ‘she’s a good friend’ spiel and show us how she’s great instead. Remember, not everyone knows them as you do. Bring them to life as real people, not cake toppers.
- Less You, More Boo: Shared anecdotes are fantastic, but don’t let this turn into the ‘Bride and You’ Show- or worse, the You Show. Include the groom, and keep the ‘action’ centred on the bride and the couple, not you.
- X Does NOT Mark the Spot: We wish this went without saying, but the amount of people who open second wedding speeches with references to the previous wedding says we need to spell this out. Don’t talk about exes, past relationships, and so on. Stay positive and on track.
- Inside is Out: Remember weddings unite a lot of people, many of whom won’t know you or possibly even the couple well. Inside jokes come over flat and dull to those who weren’t there, so keep it a little wider. And embarrassing them is just not cool.
And to round it all off here are some dos to help you support her, “I Do!”
- Brainstorm First: Pin some emotions, memories and ideas down first, rather than trying to get a sparkling speech off the bat. You can flesh it out into a roadmap, and your speech will write itself.
- KISS: Keep it short and simple. Everyone wins, including your nerves.
- Breathe: Don’t forget to build in pauses, especially after funny moments or anecdotes. We speak faster when nervous, and you don’t want to rush through it.
Practice: Get comfortable with your speech. Consider recording yourself so you can practise tone and pace. The more comfortable you are, the more comfortable everyone else will be, too. You may want to check out a mirror to make sure you aren’t doing strange things with your face, too!
You can also find some great tips in this fantastic post:
@laurafragosohiller Reply to @lyssa5217 How to write a maid of honor speech #weddingtiktok #weddingtok #bridaltok #2022bride #2023bride #maidofhonor #bridesmaid #maidofhonorspeech #weddingtips #weddingplanner #weddingplanning #weddingadvice ♬ original sound - Laura Fragoso
There you have it! Writing a great Maid of Honour speech is intimidating, but it will be a lot easier if you bear these great tips in mind.